Five Functions of A Faithful Family-1

Five Functions of A Faithful Family-1

With next week being Father's day and I having missed Mothers' day here
I wanted to start this morning looking at the whole family as a unit of
faithfulness. It is frequently stated that the family is a microcosm of
the world, of government, of church, really the family serves as the
smallest building block of any social structure. The quality then of
that building block is important.
One of the features of Haitian living that sticks out almost
immediately when you enter the country is that every structure is made
of either poured concrete or concrete blocks. But it's not the same
kind of concrete blocks that we would use here. Oh, they might look the
same – but they are not.
In fact a regular bag of concrete be about 2/3 of a cubic foot.
Haitians will add sand and gravel to make it stretch to about 3 cubic
feet (no, I'm not kidding.) The result is that a wall of blocks will
break with much less force. That's one reason why OMS has already
started making their own bricks in preparation for building the new
Emmaus Seminary location.
Likewise for us. If we want a solid country, a solid government or more
directly a well built and well functioning church than we need to
construct it with well built families. We want to build the very best
bricks we can.
So today we start a series I've titled, "Five Functions Of A Faithful
Family" and we're going to investigate What Should A Christian Family
Look Like? How should each member of the family function in relation to
the others?

Now
before we can really dig into our topic we need to find a starting
point. To do that we have to start at the foundation of the family
itself. It might look briefly like we're starting outside of the
family; but we're really starting with the head of the family Jesus
Christ.
So starting there let's look at 1 Corinthians 11:3 which outlines God's
pattern of leadership in the home.
"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and
the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." (1 Co
11:3, NASB95).
More than just the pattern of leadership however, we see something else
going on. If we start at the end we see that God the Father is the head
of God the Son. Immediately we're introduced with a need to start
defining some doctrines. Since this scripture is in many ways the start
of our series we need to investigate it's impact on the relationship
between husband and wife. But before we can really do that we have to
investigate it's implications in the trinity.
And if you'll forgive me for putting the cart before the horse I'll
start with my conclusion and then return to the beginning. Are you
ready? Because this is a conclusion that we don't come to naturally –
it really does flow from scripture. And it really does fight against
what likes to settle in our hearts.
Here's my conclusion:

Headship Does Not Imply Superiority & Neither does Submission demand inferiority.

We
need to look into the doctrine of the trinity in order to understand
what's going on here. So let's start real quickly with

1 The Deity of God.

For this, let's go back to another text,
which is familiar or at least will become familiar and that is the
SH'MA in Deuteronomy 6:4.
"“Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! " (Dt 6:4,
NASB95) (שְׁמַ֖ע יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל יְהוָ֥ה
×Ö±×œÖ¹×”ÖµÖ–×™× ×•Ö¼ יְהוָ֥ה׀ אֶחָֽד׃)
The lesson of the text is primarily that there is no other God than the
One true God! Israel herself and we by extension who share now in the
blessings of Israel by our adoption as sons – we are to have no God
but God.
Throughout the text of Scripture God is God and there is no other. The
new testament does not introduce a different God – for God does not
change. He is the same God forever and ever amen! I want to very
quickly prove to you if I can the full Deity or to put it in my own
words the full GODNESS of the FATHER, the SON and the SPIRIT.
We call them the Godhead because it is the only way we can attempt to
communicate the Godhood or the "Godness" of God.
For the Deity of God we could take and make a very long list but I'd
like instead to focus on just a few aspects or we'll be here till
Tomorrow.
Let us agree that if God is at least described in the Scriptures as ETERNAL, CREATOR, OMNICIENT (All Knowing), OMNIPRESENT (Everywhere Present), OMNIPOTENT (All powerful) and SAVIOR. At minimum we should be able to find all three members of the Godhead described in these terms, and we can!

So let's power-walk through the Scriptures.

2 The Eternality of God

The Father is Eternal: Romans 16:26
"but now is manifested, and by the Scriptures of the prophets,
according to the commandment of the eternal God, has been made known to
all the nations, leading to obedience of faith; "
The Son is Eternal: John 1:1.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word
was God. " (Jn 1:1, NASB95)
The Spirit is Eternal: Hebrews 9:14.
"how much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal Spirit
offered Himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from
dead works to serve the living God? " (Heb 9:14, NASB95).

3 The Creativity of God

To prove that God is creator we need
nothing less than to go back to Genesis 1:1. Where we see God Creating.
Together with John 1:3, ("All things came into being through Him, and
apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. " (Jn
1:3, NASB95)) Colossians 1:13-ff is a wonderful section describing the
deity of Jesus but it is verse 16 ("For by Him all things were created,
both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether
thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been
created through Him and for Him. He is before all things, and in Him
all things hold together. " (Col 1:16-17, NASB95)))that should grab our
attention as it describes Jesus as the Creator.
Notice the certitude of the statement that NOTHING that has been
created was created without Jesus creating it. That means that GOD in
Genesis 1:1 is talking about God the Father creating with the WORD of
God the Son. And then for the SPIRIT's creative activity we go back to
Genesis 1:2 where the Spirit of God is HOVERING over the waters in
preparation of it's formation after it's divine creation.

4 The Omniscience of God- God knows everything (Without Reservation!)

The
Father is Omniscient: 1 John 3:20 declares that God is greater than our
heart's which sometimes falsely accuse us and God the Father knows all
things. And Psalm 147:5 declares "Great is our Lord and abundant in
strength; His understanding is infinite."
The Son is Omniscient: At the end of John (21:17) Peter acknowledges to
Jesus that He knows all things. And Colossians 2:2-3 declares that
Jesus contains "…all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge."
The Spirit is Omniscient: "For to us God revealed them through the
Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. For
who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man
which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the
Spirit of God. " (1 Co 2:10-11, NASB95) reminds us that the SPIRIT
knows and searches the depths of God. – thus as the father is
Omniscient – so also is the Spirit of God.

5 The Omnipresence of God

This doesn't mean that God is
everywhere in the sense that as I move I'm somehow stepping through
God. It means that everything and every place in all of the universe is
equally in front of Him – so that there is nothing done that is not
seen and no place from which we may hide from Him because in that sense
God is indeed present everywhere there is a place to be.
With that in mind we see that The Father is Omnipresent: Jer. 23:24
"“Can a man hide himself in hiding places So I do not see him?”
declares the Lord. “Do I not fill the heavens and the earth?”
declares the Lord. "
The Son is Omnipresent: Eph 1:23; 4:10 each declare that Christ fills
everything and Matthew 18:20 is a familiar passage which teaches that
wherever Christians come together in his name, he is there with us.
The Spirit is Omnipresent Ps 139:7-12 declares that there is nowhere we
can go to get away from God's Spirit.

6 The Omnipotence of God

The Father is All powerful as we see
in Genesis 17:1 where God tells Abraham "I am God Almighty". (El
Shaddai)
The Son is All powerful as he is called "The power of God" in 1
Corinthians 1:24. And the Spirit of God himself is Omnipotent in Romans
15:19 where it is the POWER of the Spirit that confirms the gospel
which itself is the POWER of God to save those who believe (Rom. 1:16)

7 The Salvation Work of God

The Father and the Son are both
declared our savior and the Spirit is the agent of regeneration and
renewal in our salvation in Titus 3:4-6.
Titus 3:4-6 But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for
mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have
done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of
regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon
us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, "
So as we return to our text in 1 Corinthians 11:3 and see the Son
submitting to the Father and we acknowledge the full Deity or "Godness"
of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit we learn this important
lesson that forms the foundation of faithful families:
That headship neither implies superiority of the leader nor does it
demand inferiority of the submissive person. Jesus is not inferior to
the Father but He is submissive to Him.
In the Godhead God the Father gives the orders, Jesus the Son of God
submits to the Father and Jesus asks the Father and the Son and the
Father sends the Holy Spirit who's work is to glorify the Father
through the son. – and we talk to the Father in the power of the Holy
Spirit through the sacrifice of the Son.
What happens in the Godhead is a pattern of what is supposed to happen
in the family. And that is why it's so important to Satan that the
family fail. And that is why it is so vital to us as Christians that
– whether it's just husband and wife or also children – our
families need to reflect the nature and Character of God in terms of
Headship – submission and obedience and even glorification. For the
nature of God is a model of a faithful family.
Let us pray that God in his grace will start moving us towards a better
understanding of our own roles in the family and let's pray that God
will grant us humble hearts that will receive and obey his word in our
hearts.
AMEN.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -2

(You can preview the video I'm discussing at: http://sermonspice.com/)
I don't know what your view of perfect family life is like. Some of you
might like something like that clip, though I doubt it. I'm tempted to
do a survey this morning. Kids how many of you did the dishes or at
least cleared the table for mom? And how many of you were so far ahead
of schedule today that no-body was yelling at anyone else?
It's kind of a sad commentary isn't it? I'm not convinced that "The
Perfects" reflect the true ideal family. But it does highlight some
misconceptions and get us into the mode of thinking about what a
perfect family looks like.
If we follow the trail established for us last week in which the
Godhead is the MODEL for a faithful family we really ought to start
this week with the Man of the house. (Especially since this is father's
day.
So if we follow the trail established for us: God the Father is the
head of Christ and Christ is the head of the husband, so that is where
we'll begin: with the Husband and Father. Of course that doesn't mean
that only the married men here need to hear God's word, God's word is
for all of us.
Husbands this is for Me and you both. Wives, This is for you to know as
well what you should expect of your husband. This is also for the
children and the unmarried in that it reveals the extent of Godly
character in the family. Besides some of the young ones might get
married some day. So grab some paper and let's get ready to walk
through the First Function of a Faithful Family.

THE RELATIONSHIP OF HUSBAND TO WIFE.

If you spend any
time reading popular thought or even watching TV - or engaging in
conversation it's really not too long men before you discover that men
are typically are portrayed by society as autocratic morons without a
clue while the children or your wife is considered to be the heroes who
put up with your idiocy while you drool on your shirt.
I don't know about you men, but I'm fed up with that Caricature. But
here's the problem: it's our fault. We've let that distorted picture
take center stage in our culture because we have refused to live up to
the commandments of God either out of ignorance, weakness or meanness
masquerading as "being macho". We have failed to follow through on our
responsibilities.
That's a pretty severe indictment - but I think it's true. If it
weren't true our families would be functioning Biblically. And as much
as I wish it didn't the indictment rests fairly squarely on our
shoulders. The reason for that, men, is that we have the principal
responsibility of the family. So the family goes as we go.

Husband to Wife

So let's look at this vital relationship of
Husband to wife and we're going to start with our Text in 1 Corinthians
11:3
"But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and
the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." (1 Co
11:3, NASB95).
The issue of headship in the Corinthian church is related in this
passage to head coverings as a symbol of authority. Very briefly in
Corinth the temple prostitutes shaved their heads. Knowing this Paul
demands that all the women cover their heads as a symbol of their
husbands authority. Not only to declare that they were under their
husband's authority but also to protect the cult prostitutes who were
coming out of that culture into the church. As they were coming under
the authority of God they needed to symbolically display that.
Going further then, what is at stake here is an issue of appropriate
authority which is intended to be in the husband. Looking forward to
the tenth verse Paul says that the symbolic head cover is necessary in
Corinth because the angels are watching.
Remember that the angels know that the family is a unit representative
of the very nature and Character of God therefore the symbol of a
husband's authority is needed for the sake of God's reputation before
the angels.
So here's the first point of application and I'm going to point it at
you and I men: Because the family is intended to represent the nature
and character of God to the world- it is imperative for the sake of the
angels that you take godly headship of your wife.

1. Godly Headship

Gentlemen you are supposed to be the head of
your family - but not in a macho, brute of a man sort of way. The rest
of this week and next really unpacks what headship means but let me
summarize it with the term we often hear: "Servant Leadership." It is
the duty of the husband to provide leadership that his wife can rely
upon without crushing her in the process.
Since everything else comes out of this leadership - everything else
we'll talk about also helps to explain this leadership so let's move on
to your first responsibility as head of the house.

2. Make Your Marriage Secure.

Men it is your responsibility to
make your marriage Solid Your Marriage Gen 2:23-24; notice that Adam
made the declaration, not Eve. Men, who is usually responsible for
making marriages strong? Isn't it normally the women? Why are Marriage
conferences targeted toward women most of the time? I'll tell you it's
usually because the men are too thick-headed to understand that a
strong marriage bond is your responsibility. If you're marriage needs
help guys – don't wait for your wives to do something about it, and
don't just weather the storm. It's your job to make your wife feel
secure and fulfilled in your marriage.
Solidifying your marriage involves more than getting married, it means
maintaining it. Deuteronomy 22:13-ff, and Numbers 5:11-ff both point to
extreme ends of the pendulum where it is considered the husbands duty
to keep the marriage on stable moral grounds. In Numbers it's about
keeping your wife morally pure; while in Deuteronomy the text demands
that you honor and respect your wife's moral integrity.
But whatever the issue whether it's Moral or emotional - the wellbeing
of your marriage is not women's work. It's work for a man to make a
strong marriage.
So How do you strengthen your marriage? Ladies You've been waiting to
hear this I think.
Men if you want a strong marriage:

3. Make Your Wife Happy. (Deut 24:5)

Turn back to Deuteronomy
24:1-5 for just a moment - I want you to note verse five because that's
the one I'm concerned about: Notice that the instructions for the newly
married man is to stay home and "Give happiness to your wife." Deut
24:5
Notice the context of that command comes right on the heels of a
discussion about divorce and some potential problems associated with
it. Then Moses sticks this command in here at the request of God that a
newly married man stay home with his wife instead of going to war, at
least for the first year.
By extension we should be able to say that a newly married couple
should have as little responsibility away from each other as possible.
Why is that? Especially in the beginning there should be as little
outward pull on your marriage as possible so as to give them enough
time to settle into marriage in a way that fully reinforces the
sacredness of your relationship.
Now please pay attention, I'm not talking about making your marriage as
comfortable as an old shoe. This is different - this is making your
marriage pleasurable. And in the context it means men that you
passionately pursue not your own good pleasure, which is what normally
happens.
But men you and I have got to be committed to providing happiness for
our wives.
Ladies, let me ask you a question. If your husband wanted to make a
stand on being the God-appointed head of your household and he wanted
to do it in a way that made you happy to be married to Him - and made
you feel completely secure in the stability of your marriage; would you
consider that a good thing?
Boys and Men, I'm not done with us yet because we've got a lot of
responsibilities. The first and most necessary function of a faithful
family is a husband that provides Godly leadership to his wife.
Men this doesn't mean that you demand Glory. The Father is the head of
the son and I want you to note that the Father's purpose is to glorify
the Son so that the Son might be first.
Men, being the leaders in your homes does not mean that you're
browbeating her, or demanding that your wife submit to you like a
servant or a child - that's not godly leadership - that is the exact
opposite. It is godless, cowardly and unloving.
A godly husband will lead his wife lovingly; he will take upon himself
the task of creating a stable and secure marriage - and because he
loves his wife he will labor to make her happy to be married.
Husbands - "love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her" Eph 5:25
AMEN.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -3

Nobody would doubt that we live in a world and in a culture which
desperately needs to see Jesus. Notice the theme of the songs this
morning all revolving around the concept "I want to see Jesus!" I can
think about Christians are supposed to reflect the character of God to
the world around them, and one of the ways in which the Lord has chosen
to reveal himself apart from scripture is through Families committed to
faithfully living out His word.

Faithful Families begin with the relationship of the
husband to his wife. And we continue that theme today. Gentlemen if
we're going to have faithful families that function in accordance with
God's revealed nature and Character than we're going to need to apply
this particular text because it - more than many others - binds
together the concepts of the Character and work of Jesus Christ with
that of marriage. Take a look at this text; which you ought to be
familiar with in Ephesians 5:25-33…

Love Her and sacrifice for her Eph 5:22-ff

Last week we ended with this admonition from Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands
love your wives as Christ loved the church." The place where we ended
then is the most logical place to pick up again where Leadership finds
its direction not by exercising supreme control but rather in
sacrificial Love.
Notice the Context of the passage backs up into the issue of Headship
again. That's because a proper marital relationship hinges upon
headship and submission which is only understood accurately as it
relates to the nature and Character of God.
But LEADERSHIP takes on a more significant role going beyond the issues
of Making your Marriage Stable and Making your wife happy. It goes to
the heart of the gospel, it goes to the heart of the reason for
incarnation, it goes right to Jesus and it goes right to sacrifice.
In light of the nature and Character of God: a husband's relationship
with his wife is one of both Leadership and Love and the two cannot be
separated - or you end up with a family that is not functioning within
the prescribed parameters set forth in God's word.
If you fail to temper the husbands leadership with love as is the case
in so many marriages not only in the world but in the church, you get
an autocratic ignoramus whom regularly steps upon his wife's freedoms
and crushes not only her freedoms but presses down also upon her spirit
in such a way as to make a mockery of the purpose for which she was
created and therefore throws an insult at the God who created her to be
at your side.
If, however you fail to place sacrificial love within the context of
leadership demanded by the scriptures you run the risk of mirroring
even more marriages today in which the woman "wears the pants in the
family" and the husband - stripped devoid of both the dignity and the
necessity of headship for which he was created will be forced to
function below the role God has designed him to occupy - thus snubbing
again the nature and Character of God and repeating all over again the
sin in the garden in which God's communication is ignored and broken -
this time because personal preference would choose to go with the
cultural flow rather than obedience to God's word.
No! Brothers I call upon you as men to not merely Lead and to not
merely Love your wife but to flavor them each one with the other so
that you will personally reflect the nature and Character of God to a
watching world. Knowing this: That not only is the world watching, but
your children are watching and the angels are watching - let it not be
your ignorant lovelessness nor your cold fish leaderlessness that gives
the enemies of God a cause to blaspheme.
Now in light of that do you remember the words of Jesus when he said in
John
15:13 "Greater love has no man than this: that he lay down his life for
his friends…"? The significance of that men, is that as we are
commanded to love our wives here the way that Christ loved the church -
which means that the summation of our love expression to our wife is
not flowers and chocolate's (although not many of you would make a
mistake in providing them) - but the summation of our love expressed to
our wives is that of the sacrifice of self for her benefit and glory.
And now you might be thinking: What kind of sacrifice am I called to
make?

Sacrifice yourself

I'm glad you asked because God doesn't leave
us guessing. The short summary answer is this: YOURSELF. That means you
from this day forward men, in the grand priority list you keep in your
heads you place your wife above your own name.
What is the measure of Love Jesus gave to the inquisitor who wanted to
know the top commandments? Was not the first one to Love the Lord your
God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength; and the second was
like it: "Love your neighbor as yourself."
Look at Ephesians 5:28 - do you see the answer there? "husbands ought
also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own
wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes
and cherishes it…"
On this earth men, there is no more sacred and glorious gift given to
you by God save salvation alone which is more precious than your wife.
Does she know that you feel that way about her?
Let me give you some Specific ways men that you can sacrifice yourself
for your wife.
Starting with the text we just read, the first one is easy:

A. Provide for her Physical needs.

I would invite you to keep Ephesians 5 in view but to also take a look at 1 Timothy 5:8:
"… if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those
of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an
unbeliever."
The context of the passage demands that family and extended family take
care of the needs of widows who haven't any other method of income or
self-care. But the principle of the passage can readily be applied to
the family: it is the duties of a family to provide for the needs of
each member of that family. And since the man is the head of the family
the burden of that provision falls primarily upon him.
The application here at least is that a husband ought to give himself
to his work not for the sake of work but for the sake of provision at
home. Secondly you ought to …

B. Provide for her need for intimacy 1 cor. 7:2-4

Briefly
notice the context in which Paul declares that in marriage the
authority over our own body is given to our spouse. Why does he say
that? Because men, we're normally pretty selfish. What does that mean?
It means men - since I am speaking to you - that we must not be selfish
concerning our own needs but look out for the needs of our wife. If you
don't know what those needs are - then you need to have a talk.
Selflessness is the key here, so that we need to intentionally choose
not to be our normal selfish selves. Husbands you must sacrifice your
needs to hers; and the reverse is also true. If each spouse is focused
on the other than the emotional and physical intimacy needs of both
will be met.
And the third specific sacrifice is related to this one.

C. Stay True to Her (Exod. 20:14; Matthew 5:28)

It
is the text of the seventh commandment found in Exodus 20:14. And it
involves lots more than just what you do with your body. Let me ask you
men, on a daily basis, where do you allow your hearts - your minds -
and your eyes to travel?
I've heard the mantra from every sort of person - upright and not so
upright - "You can look as long as you don't touch." Really?
Have you read Matthew 5:27-28 recently?
Matthew 5:27-28
"You have heard that it was said, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY'; but
I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has
already committed adultery with her in his heart."
I say this to all the males in the room married or not:
Guys your wife present or future has every right to demand that she
alone has only you. It is not easy in this loose society to keep your
eyes on one woman. Ladies you need to know that men are wired visually
- so the way a Christian girl or woman dresses needs to reflect modesty
not only for your sake but for his. It's not an issue of legalism it's
a mandate of morality. We men are weak and we need your help.
Look at the next two verses in Matthew 5… Verses 29-30. If your hand
or your eyes cause you to sin cut them off! Do whatever you have to in
order to protect yourself. But let me push this for just a moment - if
what you wear causes your brother to sin, are you living in love toward
him? How much better to swallow your pride and wear a different fashion
even if it means being out of fashion? Better not only for him but for
you as well.
Men that's not the whole recipe either. The opportunities for your eyes
to wander are endless aren't they? The internet is wide open with every
kind of vice and sin you can imagine. Advertising for everything from
clothing, to cars to bubble gum is wrapped up in one simple three
letter word: S.E.X.
Boys and men Let me talk to you frankly. - Do whatever you have to do -
to maintain moral purity. If that means canceling the cable, throwing
out the internet and throwing out your magazines than do it. If it
means changing who you hang around with, or making yourself accountable
to another man whom you trust - do it. But at every cost - sparing no
effort - maintain sexual purity in what you see, what you think, and
what you do.
Your wife deserves it. Your marriage needs it. And you have to do it.
It takes faithful men to make faithful families. May God help US to be
faithful. AMEN.
- And that's the truth.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -4

Men we come down now to the last portion of our duties to our wife. To
summarize the first two messages: as men it is our God given task and
privilege to reflect His nature and character in our family by both
Leading and Sacrificially Loving our wives. This morning I want to give
you two more main categories where we are taught specifically in
Scripture how we are supposed to function in relationship with our
wife.

1 Live With Her With Respect & Honor.

One of the first
things to break down after the wedding is the congeniality with which
you treated one another while you were dating. This simply shouldn't be
the case. Now that you have sealed your relationship with a vow - that
is a time to move your relationship up a notch - not down.
So the Scriptures give us a few clear guides addressed to us as men
that are simply meant to help us to treat our wives with respect.

Don't be bitter with her col. 3:19

"Husbands, love your wives
and do not be harsh with them." (Col 3:19, NIV) The idea of being harsh
translates a word that's elsewhere used to describe an upset stomach.
Men your wife is a beautiful treasure - don't treat her like an ulcer.
Part of Christian character is a man who doesn't treat his wife meanly
but respects and honors her.
Let's expound on that over in 1 Peter 3:7
" You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an
understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and
show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your
prayers will not be hindered."
Notice what the directives are: first men you are supposed to …

Live with her in an understanding way: 1 peter 3:7

The idea is
that of having KNOWLEDGE of what's going on in your wife's mind and
life and living in response to that.
Now I know what some of you are thinking; "I can't read her mind-
that's what starts half the arguments in our house!" That might be true
on both counts - you certainly can't read her mind - so since you are
instructed by God to live with her with knowledge - how are you going
to get that Knowledge?
Let me give you a hint: Shut off the TV, Fold up the paper and talk
with her. Gentlemen let me give you a plan. One night this week as the
day is coming to a close turn off the TV and give her your undivided
attention and then ask a question like "Dear, what's on your mind
today?"
Now you've got to pick your timing, don't shut off the TV while it's on
Her show - turn off YOUR show men. If you do this; two things are going
to happen. Number one she's probably going to be tempted to blow you
off - because you've been blowing her off. And number two - you're
going to need a package of smelling salts as soon as she finds out your
serious. And then men: Stick a sock in it and listen to what she has to
say.
You can't live with your wife in an understanding way if you don't have
the slightest clue what's going on between her ears.
Second thing is this guys: you’ve got to be gentle…

Be Gentle (1 Peter 3:7)

The NASB says live with her as someone
weaker… without delving into any junk around that - it simply means
this: treat her gently. Look men, this takes on all kinds of meaning in
our culture.
Be gentle with your wife in terms of your speech. Watch what you do to
her heart with that quick witted tongue of yours. Stop bringing up old
wounds - bury the hatchet- quit the guilt trips and kick off your
grudge - none of those are suitable for Christians anyway. Don't resort
to saying whatever needs to be said just to win the argument.
I know how your twisted mind jumps - sometimes without thinking- in the
middle of an argument you know what it is you have to say to gain the
momentary victory. All you have to do is bring up some past event and
you might win the argument but lose the war because what you've done is
you've destroyed your wife's heart.
Not only your speech guys but here's another thing and it's a big one
to me. I don't know if any of you have ever hit your wife but you need
to know that it's a sin to do so. You're breaking this text right here.
Be gentle with her - she's the weaker partner and you are supposed to
guard her not hurt her. Men if you've got an anger problem come and
seek me out and we'll get you the help you need so that you can gain
the upper hand over it - but don't hit her.
Ladies - listen up! This is for the married and the non married and the
not yet married. There is no - time, NEVER! That a man has the right to
hit a woman. If your husband hits you, than you need to get out and get
safe till he's right with the Lord. And it doesn't change overnight -
this is long haul/ long term territory.
Third thing here is this men:

Honor her 1 pet 3.7

She is a fellow heir of grace. That means
men - that you treat your wives with all the respect, dignity and honor
which should rightfully go to a daughter of God.
Let me give you some ways to honor her guys because we're running out
of time today:
(1) Open the door for her when she goes in and out of a building.
(2) Wait till she's in the car and shut the door for her - THEN you get
in.
(3) Ever hear the phrase "Ladies first"? It applies to your wife -
she's a child of God that makes her a sacred lady - treat her like
royalty.
(4) Let her speak - and don't brush her off.
(5) And this one deserves repeating: Give her your full attention.
(6) Get her an umbrella when it's raining.
(7) Give her the best of everything you have.
(8) Remind her of how much you love her and how glad you are she
married you.
Why do these things? Look at what Peter says, so that it doesn't hinder
your prayers. Do you realize this men? God is watching how you treat
your wife and if you don't care to treat her with dignity - he's going
to have a hard time listening to you. So watch how you treat her so you
don’t hinder your own prayer life.
So what have we said guys, Lead her, Love her sacrificially, Live with
her with respect and honor and finally and for keeps: Don't forget to
LAUGH with her.

2 Laugh With Her!

Enjoy life with your wife - I believe most
of us married to that purpose and it's something worth pursuing.
There's an old document called the Declaration of Independence that
took it's formula primarily from scripture. Tomorrow we get to
celebrate it's meaning as we celebrate our country's independence. One
of the first things it declares is the right to "Life, Liberty and the
pursuit of Happiness."
That precept is taken from scriptures - from the concept of our creator
and the intent of his living in our lives today.

Enjoy life with your wife Eccles 9:9 (see context though)

I
hope you're not complete grumps at home men, because God wants you to
enjoy life with your wife. Ecclesiastes 9:9 which would love a little
bit of explanation for it's context simply says
"Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days
of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is
your reward for all your earthly toil."
And Solomon goes on to say that God has given us life to be enjoyed. So
enjoy it. If you need to hear it, stop being a grump, and be grateful.
For God is good!

Delight In Her (Prov. 5:15-19)

Moving over to Proverbs 5:15-19
men you're simply told to Delight in your wife, be captivated by her
love for you. Good grief some of you roll over in the morning expecting
to see something beautiful - your wife gave that up long ago.
When it all comes down to it guys I'm calling us to biblical manhood.
Let's step up to the plate.
AMEN.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -5

By way of introduction to this next stage in the series "Five Functions of a Faithful Family"
allow me to read to you this segment of a book relevant to our topic,
which I eagerly commend to you for two very good reasons - maybe even
three.

1. It is the first and most Biblically Comprehensive Treatment
   I was exposed to on what it means to be a man and what it means to be a
   woman from God's perspective as taught in the scriptures. Suffice it to
   say that I am gratified to read this after developing this series to
   discover that God's word has said the same to me as it has said to
   other Godly men.
2. It can be purchased somewhat cheaply from the local Christian bookstore if you're so inclined and…
3. If
   you would like to read and own it for free you can read it entirely on
   your computer or print it out yourself after downloading it from the
   following web address: http://www.cbmw.org/resources/books.php.

While there are other freely downloadable books on that page this one in particular is Entitled:
Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.
It is edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem. And for whatever it may be
worth to say so: this tome bears my seal of approval. Without further
introduction of the introduction… listen to this introduction…

1 Biblical Womanhood expresses who you are.

When I was a boy growing up in Greenville, South Carolina,
my father was away from home about two-thirds of every year. And while
he preached across the country, we prayed--my mother and my older
sister and I. What I learned in those days was that my mother was
omni-competent.

She handled the finances, paying all the bills and dealing
with the bank and creditors. She once ran a little laundry business on
the side. She was active on the park board, served as the
superintendent of the Intermediate Department of our Southern Baptist
church, and managed some real estate holdings.

She taught me how to cut the grass and splice electric cord
and pull Bermuda grass by the roots and paint the eaves and shine the
dining-room table with a shammy and drive a car and keep French fries
from getting soggy in the cooking oil. She helped me with the maps in
geography and showed me how to do a bibliography and work up a science
project on static electricity and believe that Algebra II was possible.
She dealt with the contractors when we added a basement and, more than
once, put her hand to the shovel. It never occurred to me that there
was anything she couldn’t do.

I heard one time that women don’t sweat, they glow. Not
true. My mother sweated. It would drip off the end of her long, sharp
nose. Sometimes she would blow it off when her hands were pushing the
wheelbarrow full of peat moss. Or she would wipe it with her sleeve
between the strokes of a swingblade. Mother was strong. I can remember
her arms even today thirty years later. They were big, and in the
summertime they were bronze. But it never occurred to me to think of my
mother and my father in the same category. Both were strong. Both were
bright. Both were kind. Both would kiss me and both would spank me.
Both were good with words. Both prayed with fervor and loved the Bible.
But unmistakably my father was a man and my mother was a woman. They
knew it and I knew it. And it was not mainly a biological fact. It was
mainly a matter of personhood and relational dynamics.

When my father came home he was clearly the head of the
house. He led in prayer at the table. He called the family together for
devotions. He got us to Sunday School and worship. He drove the car. He
guided the family to where we would sit. He made the decision to go to
Howard Johnson’s for lunch. He led us to the table. He called for the
waitress. He paid the check. He was the one we knew we would reckon
with if we broke a family rule or were disrespectful to Mother. These
were the happiest times for Mother. Oh, how she rejoiced to have Daddy
home! She loved his leadership. Later I learned that the Bible calls
this “submission.”

But since my father was gone most of the time, Mother used
to do most of those leadership things too. So it never occurred to me
that leadership and submission had anything to do with superiority and
inferiority. And it didn’t have to do with muscles and skills either.
It was not a matter of capabilities and competencies. It had to do with
something I could never have explained as a child. And I have been a
long time in coming to understand it as part of God’s great goodness
in creating us male and female. It had to do with something very deep.
I know that the specific rhythm of life that was in our home is not the
only good one. But there were dimensions of reality and goodness in it
that ought to be there in every home. Indeed they ought to be there in
varying ways in all mature relationships between men and women.

2 Faithful Functions Transcend Relationships

As we prepare to delve into the counter relationship to that of a
Husband towards his wife - namely the relationship of a Wife towards
her husband, I want to address briefly the issue of singleness.
The reasons for singleness could be anything from simply not marrying
to Divorce or the death of a spouse. Though the reasons for all of
these are uniquely different the effect is the same. Inclusive in that
circumstance, even without a husband or a wife; a man or a woman is
completely capable to being a fully Biblically mature man or woman by
holding in the core of their being the responsibilities and privileges
of the gender with which God has graced you. It is from this
perspective that I wish for everyone here to understand this series.
A Single mother can still be a fulfilled Godly woman, and an aged
widower can retain his biblical masculinity by holding in the core of
their heart the belief that what God describes of their position and
relationship to persons of the opposite sex is accurate and good.

3 Godliness is not dependant on others.

Further I intend to
address a question for the women which applies in reverse to the men
which is this: "What if my husband or wife refuses to live up to their
end of Biblical masculinity or biblical femininity?" The scriptural
answer would be summarized thus: It then becomes the most difficult and
onerous task of yours to undertake the added burden of your spouses
neglected role which you were not designed to bear.
In those difficult times a woman must lead her family spiritually and
provide for it physically. A man must continue lovingly sacrificing
himself for the glory of his wife in the hopes against all hopes that
the grace of the Lord will break the hardness of their hearts and lead
them to repentance. Moreover it must be done with an attitude that
communicates to your spouse "I do not defy you, I love you and I long
with all my heart that you were with me in this spiritual and moral
commitment… "
In all relationships, married, single or whatever the case may be the
relationship of a woman to a man is not merely one of response - even
though it is flavored in large part by response.
What I mean by that statement is a bit of a segue into the discussion
at hand. Ladies some of you have no doubt been listening with rapt and
gleeful attention to the scriptures description of everything your
husband ought to be - and yet you've perhaps felt some trepidation lest
the preacher unleash an even greater storm upon you when you're time
comes. I hope that's not the case.
I happen to believe that the picture of Biblical masculinity is an
attractive standard- albeit difficult at times to implement as I
struggle against my own flesh. In the same way I don't intend ladies to
"lay into you" as with a whip - anymore than I would my own wife (which
is not at all lest anyone should doubt!) What I would like to do is in
some way demonstrate the desirability and inherent beauty of Biblical
femininity lived in simple obedience to God's decree’s and creative
order. In other words I believe, ladies, that just as a mature man
ought to find the biblical image of manhood rewarding - I believe that
a mature woman will find the Biblical image of womanhood equally
rewarding and imminently more desirable than any alternative once
it’s understood.
That being said we all should know this: that a significant aspect of
the wife's relationship to her husband is formed in relation to a
husband's proper relationship with her because that which is her
responsibility is more than a mere answer to his headship it is an
encouragement that actually fosters not only her own godliness but
greater godliness for her husband as well.
What is true of every scriptural principle and rule is true also of the
relationship of a wife towards her husband; namely- freedom. The task
to which you are called ladies is one of freedom in which you get to do
what your God-filled heart desires most to do. The result is that when
we live according to God’s design Men and women both arrive at a
greater freedom and a great sense of personal fulfillment in your
pursuit of a Christ centered holy life.
Imagine if you will a marriage in which the husband's focus is upon his
wife for her glory, he Lovingly Leads, Sacrifices and Lives with her as
though she were an honored daughter of God the Almighty King. She in
turn encourages through the various means at her disposal his godly
behavior towards her. The result - as he elevates her and she elevates
him - is an ever increasing spiral of glory - wherein their marriage is
a depiction to the world of Christ loving the church and the church
loving Christ in return.
This is the biblical vision of a faithful marriage and it effectively
sets the stage for our next couple of weeks together.
But for today we will close with this prayer: “That
God who is able to do abundantly more than we could ask or imagine will
visit our homes with His presence and will transform our families into
faithful families.”
AMEN.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -6

A stewardess was talking to an elderly couple. Learning that it was the
couple's 50th wedding anniversary, the flight attendant congratulated
them and asked how they had done it.
"It all felt like five minutes..." the gentleman
said slowly.
The stewardess had just begun to remark on what a sweet statement that
was when he finished his sentence with a word that earned him a sharp
smack on the head:
"...underwater."
I hope you don't feel like you're underwater this morning. God's
design for faithful families should be more like a cool drink of water,
than a permanent plunge beneath it.
This morning I'd like you to turn to two passages which will form the
basis of much of our study together. Taken in Biblical order they are Genesis 2:18-25 and Ephesians 5:22ff.
Listen to What God's Word Says: Gen 2:18-25; Ephesians 5:22-33
This is God's Word.
Taken together, incredible dignity is bestowed upon you ladies,
together with responsibility. But it is a responsibility that is
altogether different from that of your husband. Having summarized your
husbands tasks as Leading Sacrificially, Loving sacrificially, Living
with you in honor, and Laughing - that is, enjoying life. I'd
summarize your tasks ladies with the three words: Submission, Support
and Strength.
Since it's the one word that causes the most anxiety, let's begin
with the first: "Submission".

2 The Function of a Wife To Her Husband

2.1 Submit (receive strength and leadership )

The concept of
submission is not a part of the curse. Arrogant and foolish men have
made it seem that way. But, headship and submission is inherent in the
creation narrative. In fact Genesis 2:18-25
which takes place before the fall unveils for us that you have been
created to be what the old King James described as "an help meet".
Immediately after God's declaration that he would do that, he brought
every animal to Adam in order that he might name them. And at the end
of that episode we read in the 20th verse that "for Adam no suitable
helper was found for him."
It is in light of this revelation that God causes Adam to undergo the
first ever anesthesia in order to create "a helper suitable for
him." It was mandatory that Adam have someone who was his Spiritual
equal - made in the image of God and specifically crafted to help Adam
as he performed the tasks God had given him.
For his part, when Adam awoke - and saw her he responded by naming her
- thus demonstrating headship - his willingness to take on his
God-given role of sacrificial-loving-leadership.
The proper, biblical understanding of submission has to conform to this
pre-fall context.

2.1.1 Definition

Again our texts in 1 Corinthians 11:3-12 and Ephesians 5:22-23 will help to provide the framework to help us understand what submission is and is not.
God's word calls for a submission to your husband's God given authority. 1 cor. 11:3-12 Speaks specifically about headship - which I've already defined. Ephesians 5.22-23
says that the wife must in the words of the NASB "be subject to your
own [husband]" The NIV renders it "submit to your [husband]"
while the New Century Version (NCV) renders it "yield to your
[husband]" The difference between them all is not entirely
insignificant. Each translator has made an effort to communicate what
is there, but I think the NCV more appropriately communicates the
Biblical concept to our culture.
The simple word "Submit" or the phrase, "be subject to" can
seem a bit dismissive and even demeaning. Perhaps it would help to
understand that The Bible's word for "submission" doesn't mean
"obey" in the terms a child is called to obey their parents. There
is a distinctly different verb used to describe those relationships
just a few verses later in Ephesians. The difference is intentional in
order to describe the different relationships. Submission doesn't
mean blind obedience it means deference to his leadership.
Men just as our task is not to snap orders to your wife as though she
were an underling, she is not called to be a blind follower but rather
an affirmer of a God given position of authority. To submit to your
husband ladies means to be positively responsive to his leadership -
even encouraging it!
Remembering the first message in this series in which the Son clearly
submits to the father we gain a workable definition of Biblical
Submission which is this:
"Biblical Submission means one Spiritually Equal individual lovingly
and voluntarily yields to another Spiritually equal individual
possessing a position of authority established by God."
Notice if you will that I've intentionally included the phrase
"Spiritually Equal" for both people. That is for two reasons.
First, because the Bible's teaching has been too often misrepresented
as declaring some kind of inferiority to women. That misrepresentation
has been responsible for all sorts of evil. Additionally that error
springs from a complete ignorance of the foundation of biblical
anthropology from Genesis 1:26-27, 2:7,21-25; 5:1
all of which clearly teach that both man and woman are created in the
image of God. To rob a woman of that dignity is to deny the giving of
glory to God for what he has created.
Second, I've included "Spiritually Equal" because throughout the
scriptures there is a consistent call to appropriate
leadership/headship and submission.
In Luke 2:51 the Spiritually superior Jesus submits to his parents.
In Hebrews 13:17
puts the spiritually equal church in submission to her spiritually
equal pastoral leaders "Obey your leaders and submit to their
authority.
In 1 Peter 5:5 young men are told to "Be submissive" to those who are older.
In 1 Corinthians 11:3
teaches that Jesus the son of God submits to the Father.
The list could continue but I don't think it needs to.
Far from being a curse, it means operating under God's decree of
righteousness. John Piper summarizes submission this way,
"Biblical submission for the wife is the divine calling to honor and
affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to
her gifts."
There's no room for "doormat" theology here, because it's not a part of
the text. Jesus never calls any of his servants to be a doormat, but he
does call us towards love and peace and appropriate, loving, voluntary
yielding to established authority. But are there limits to submission?

2.1.2 Extent

Take a look at Ephesians 5:22, note first what it DOES say "Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Eph 5:22, NASB95)
There are two delimiters here.

A. Submission is to your own husband - not to someone else's.
(The NIV leaves this out for no discernable reason as the Greek phrase
translated "Your own husbands" is in every major manuscript.)

B. Submission to your husband is the form of submission you would give to the Lord. "As to the Lord"

Verse 23
and following goes on to explain the reasoning, first and primarily is
that God has established the husband as head. And beyond that because
the husband/wife relationship is intended to reflect Christ to the
World.
So we define Biblical submission wherever it is applied as
"loving and voluntary yielding to an authority established by
God."
In that we can't afford to neglect the attitude which I've tried to
communicate with the word "loving".

2.1.3 Attitude

Ladies as you yield to your husbands it ought
to be done respectfully and not grudgingly or with bitterness - or even
fear. Ephesians 5:33 summarizes the whole matter by commanding the husband to love his wife as himself and the wife to Respect her husband Eph 5:33.
Peter also repeats the lesson in 1 Peter 3:1-6
"In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so
that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won
without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your
chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely
external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on
dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the
imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in
the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also,
who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their
own husbands; just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you
have become her children if you do what is right without being
frightened by any fear."
Ladies, don't be afraid to respond with faith and obedience to the
Lord in the way you respond to your husband. Even in the case where you
have an unbelieving husband - it is possible that your beautiful
humility will win him to Christ.
Last week, a lady told me about a woman they knew in Indiana who was a
believer and who went to church. But she was conflicted because her
husband didn't want her to go. Long conversations later it was
suggested that she obey his wishes.
So the following Sunday, determined to be obedient to God she spoke to
her husband something like this, "you know that I would like to go to
church today, but because you are my husband and you do not want me to
go, I will stay home with you."
He went to church with her that morning.
It probably won't always turn out that way, but who knows? As Peter
says, They may be won by your chaste and respectful behavior - without
even a word being said.
May God give us the grace to live in obedience to His word.
AMEN.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -7

The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and
Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable
situation.
"It's simple," he said. "Division of labor. My wife makes all the
small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, where we go on
vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my
job, and so on."
"And you?"
"I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if the United States
should declare war on China, if Congress should appropriate money for a
manned expedition to Mars, and so on."
I think the secret to a happy marriage is anything but a man abdicating
his responsibilities at home. It is quite the opposite. Being fully
engaged at home is the answer to the problems most of us face in our
marriages.
Having established what Godly leadership in the home really means for
men, Last week we started with Submission - or “Lovingly and
willingly Yielding to an authority established by God.” Far from
being demeaning it is a tremendous offering of faith and faithfulness
to the Father.
In addition to Submission then, a wife faithful to God will….

Support Your Husband.

Briefly I’d summarize that as affirming and strengthening his leadership.
If we look at Genesis 2:18 “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good
for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
you’ll discover that you were designed, ladies, to be complimentarian
to your husband. You weren’t created to be behind him or in front of
him, you were created both to be at his side as his equal. And you were
created to be beneficially different.
It’s not about the song, “Anything he can do, I can do better… I
can do anything better than you…” The differences between male and
female both physical, emotional, and capable should be celebrated not
blurred and ignored. I’d wager that it’s a misunderstanding here
that has lead to general discontent.
So what are some of the ways you can support his authority?
Here’s one that works quite well for today. While once upon a time it
used to be culturally problematic for a woman to work outside of the
home - that’s no longer the case. In fact it’s very nearly expected
for a woman to have a so called “real Job” (Though personally I
take offense at the concept that taking care of the home is somehow
less than a real job.)
I suppose the question someone might raise is something like, “How
biblical is it - for a woman to work outside of the home?” I’d say
with some caveat’s that it’s plenty biblical.
Every woman is at least moderately familiar with the proverbs 31 woman.
Every Mother’s day she is exalted as the standard of feminine
perfection. Some of you rejoice to hear it, and other’s cringe inside
because you feel like you’ll not only never be her, but you really
don’t want to be. Though I’d wonder if the latter was for a lack of
understanding perhaps?
But listen to Proverbs 31:10-31 and listen for how frequently this
excellent wife is described as a business woman!
"An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels.
The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of
gain. She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. She
looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. She is
like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. She rises also
while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to
her maidens. She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she
plants a vineyard. She girds herself with strength And makes her arms
strong. She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at
night. She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp
the spindle. She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out
her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her
household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes
coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. Her
husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the
land. She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to
the tradesmen. Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at
the future. She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness
is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, And does
not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and bless her; Her
husband also, and he praises her, saying: “Many daughters have done
nobly, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is
vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her
the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates."
(Pr 31:10-31, NASB95)
Depending on your definition of Business- no less than 12 times in this
very brief text she is described in terms of business transactions
benefiting not only her family but also her customers and even the
poor. She’s described in
terms of a fortune 500 company. Nothing demeaning there or so I would
think.
So what guidelines are given in the scriptures for supporting your
husband in the work you do? Numbers chapter 30:6-16 represents the
answer to this question in the realm of vows. And if you think of
business dealings in light of a vow being made to another - than the
lesson we gain here is one of

Yielding your work to your husband.

. Business deals would only constitute a
portion of making vows but the principle is consistent with scripture.
Stepping away from the work-a-day world there are ways to support your
husband at home. Let me just briefly mention two, and then we’ll move
on.

Meet his physical needs 1 Corinthians 7:2-6

If 1
Corinthians 7:2-6 describes part of being a godly husband as meeting
his wife’s intimate needs than the same is also true of being a godly
wife.
Thirdly ladies you support your husband when you

Take supremacy over every other human relationship in his life.

Genesis
2:24 is too often over looked. “For this reason a man shall leave his
father and his mother, and be joined to his wife…”
Now if you look closely you can see that the burden here lies upon the
men (as it does everywhere else in a faithful family. But the fact is
ladies, once the marriage vows are made, you are supposed to have the
supreme position to your husband rather than his father and mother. The
burden rests upon the husband and yet I mention it here rather than
elsewhere for two reasons.
1) Too many women are frustrated by “momma’s boys”.
2) It demonstrates some dignity for you ladies by elevating you to
where you belong.
In terms of relationships there is no human relationship which is
supposed to take precedent over a man and his wife. Not work, not
Children. Only God takes supremacy here, for this is the relationship
that He created. And he alone is worthy of being first above
everything.
For this week let us close with this prayer, “That God will be first
in our families, and that we in turn might live and function towards
one another as faithful men and women of God.”
AMEN.
"and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.
Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband
is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He
Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to
Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and
gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed
her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to
Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any
such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. So husbands ought
also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own
wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes
and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are
members of His body. For this reason a man shall leave his father and
mother and shall be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one
flesh. This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to
Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is
to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that
she respects her husband." (Eph 5:21-33, NASB95)

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -8

Parents to Children

"Just wait till your father gets home!" That phrase begets an absolute
solidifying fear. No child who has ever heard those words in context
has failed to feel their heart palpitate and hands sweat. The very
wording and structure of the sentence has been carefully crafted by
generations of mothers and I'm moderately certain it's proper use and
intonation is passed on from mother to daughter in secret ceremonies we
men know nothing about.
What's even more striking is that it is- in some degrees the reflection
of the biblical mandate for men to be the Christ centered foundation of
moral guidance and righteous judgment in the household. The image of
the man sitting idly by on the couch while mom tries to deal with
unruly children is a travesty of righteousness and a declaration of
either immature masculinity, or overbearing femininity or both.
That doesn’t mean that mom is not supposed to discipline, she must,
not for mere survival, but because God has granted her the role of
raising children and discipline is part and parcel of that. The very
fact that God would entrust the most delicate and easily moldable minds
on the planet primarily into mom’s tender care should immediately
dispel the rumor that the Bible somehow teaches that women are
intellectually inferior to men. The Bible teaches nothing of the sort.
Sadly today’s society has treated raising children as a necessary
evil rather than a rewarding task. But a number of passages challenge
that notion. Start with God’s command in the garden to “Be fruitful
and multiply”; move forward to Proverbs “Children are an heritage
from the lord blessed be the man who’s quiver is full of them.” And
listen to Jesus rebuke his disciples by saying, “Let the little
children come to me and do not hinder them…” In three verses
you’re face to face with God’s love of children, and with that we
begin to comprehend how important our task of raising them is.
Now, everyone here hasn’t got children in the house but that
doesn’t mean you should ignore this message. First of all we live in
community and in community we need to learn how to best help one
another. Second, we are the one’s that have the responsibility of
winning disciples to Christ and teaching them to obey all that Christ
commanded. And we can’t teach it, if we don’t know it.
So how should a faithful set of parents function towards their
children? What does it take to be a godly parent? How do we go about
raising children in a godless society? The answers are in the
scriptures because the scriptures were written to and for a people
living in a godless world trying themselves to do that very same
thing...
So let me give you three principles to live by in terms of the
functioning relationship of parents towards their children. And it
starts with putting God First in your family.

Teach Them The Love Of The Lord (Deuteronomy 6:4-ff)

When it
came time for God to lay the groundwork for a nation of people
dedicated to him, he gave them two commands. The first one is the guide
from which all the other commandments originate. (Deuteronomy 6:5,
NASB95) “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and
with all your soul and with all your might.”
The Second command is the conduit by which that command was to be
disseminated from person to person and more importantly, from
Generation to Generation. (Deuteronomy 6:7-9, NASB95) “You shall
teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit
in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and
when you rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and
they shall be as frontals on your forehead. “You shall write them on
the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”
Training towards faith in Jesus. It’s a mistake for parents to sit on
the sidelines and not influence their child towards Christ. Most of the
people that I’ve spoken with that have this attitude - have gotten
there because they hated going to church as a kid and they don’t want
to “Ram religion down their kid’s throat” But children are not
inherently capable of making decisions about anything until they learn
their parent’s decision making standards. Therefore if we sit idly by
waiting for them to choose Christ - they will interpret our silence on
the issue as ambivalence and that ambivalence translates into a
tendency away from faith rather than towards it.
There are many different filters we can press the old testament
through. Such as the filter of legalism in which the Old Testament is
seen as a collection of rules that Israel couldn’t keep. We can pass
it through the filter of Grace in which we see God continually
withholding deserved punishment in hopes of Israel’s repentance until
even God’s patience was exhausted.
Or we can see the old testament through the filter of failed parenting.
The primary themes of the old testament such as the repeated idolatry
of Israel, the need to send repeated prophets, and finally the
judgments on Israel and Judah for her idolatry are the main story lines
from all of the prophets, a large percentage of the psalms, most of the
books of 1st and second kings and chronicles. And they all stem from
Judges 2:7,10.
(Judges 2:7) "The people served the Lord all the days of Joshua, and
all the days of the elders who survived Joshua, who had seen all the
great work of the Lord which He had done for Israel. " (NASB95)
(Judges 2:10) "All that generation also were gathered to their fathers;
and there arose another generation after them who did not know the
Lord, nor yet the work which He had done for Israel." (NASB95)
If Those parents, and each successive generation had been about the
business of obeying Deuteronomy 6, it would be safe to say that the old
testament would be a different read indeed.
There is no more sacred duty for parents than passing on the faith, and
the nurturing of faithfulness. That’s what Paul means in Ephesians
6:4 by (Ephesians 6:4) "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger,
but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. "
(NASB95)
On top of nurturing their faithfulness towards God, our task as parents
is to

Discipline with Love.

Ephesians 6:1-2 should make it clear
that parents should expect obedience from their children. And a lack of
obedience should beget appropriate discipline.
Hebrews 12:7-10 is written to encourage us when God disciplines us and
in order to achieve that it uses the assumed reality that good fathers
discipline their children with the goal of crafting right behavior in
the future.
(Hebrews 12:7-10) "…God deals with you as with sons; for what son is
there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without
discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are
illegitimate children and not sons. Furthermore, we had earthly fathers
to discipline us, and we respected them; shall we not much rather be
subject to the Father of spirits, and live? For they disciplined us for
a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our
good, so that we may share His holiness. " (NASB95)
The simple phrase “As seemed best to them” expresses our
fallibility as parents but doesn’t excuse it. I have a feeling
that’s why Paul includes the exhortation to fathers in Ephesians 6:4
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in
the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” (NASB95) both ends of a
narrow spectrum are in view there.
As parents we either have the power to frustrate our children by
failing to bring them up in godliness or to bring them up in godliness.
Connected to that idea - and knowing that it’s a long hard road the
third principle is simply this:

Keep the Goal in Mind

Raising children is an issue of
stewardship. Everything we do, teach and say is a building block
helping children to grow into godly adults, or a hammer breaking them
down. Discipline is never intended for destruction - only correction.
There is no greater purpose in raising children than creating Godly
adults.
God designed the family to be more than the building block of society.
He designed the family to be the crucial environment for passing the
love and obedience to God from one generation to the next.
Ideally, Jesus Christ would be the center of every home, and the home
the center of everything else. We who are children of our heavenly
father should make every effort to make our homes into godly homes;
into faithful families that function in Godliness.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -9

Try to put the following child parent conversation in Biblical context:
A man was overheard talking on his cell phone: “I know it's something
you want," he said earnestly, "But I don't think tattoos are a good
idea. And the same goes for body piercing. As long as you're living in
my house, I think you should respect my wishes."
"Besides, Mom, you're 75 years old! You don't need a tattoo!"
We all expected obedience between a father and his child didn’t we?
But perhaps you’re not exactly certain what to do with a child giving
orders to his mother. Today we take a look at the relationship of
children to their parents. The bulk perhaps is focused on children
growing up still in their parent’s house. But there are applications
to adult children relating to their parents.
1 Children to Parents (Exodus 20:12)
Let me give you three key words to Biblically describe the relationship
between children and their parents. There may be some overlap between
them, but they are used with fair regularity in varied Spots.
The first aspect of the child parent relationship is Children your
first order of business when it comes to your relationship to your
parents is to Obey…

Obey

The Key passage I’d like to point to is
Ephesians 6:1-3.
(Ephesians 6:1-3) "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is
right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment
with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live
long on the earth. " (NASB95)
It’s actually repeated in brief form in Colossians 3:20
(Colossians 3:20) "Children, be obedient to your parents in all things,
for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.” (NASB95)
Obedience has its limits of course, if a child is commanded to do
something wrong, than obedience to God takes the precedent. Ezekiel
20:18 gives this mandate for children to avoid the sins of their
parents:
“I said to their children in the wilderness, ‘Do not walk in the
statutes of your fathers or keep their ordinances or defile yourselves
with their idols.” (NASB95)
The majority of parenting however is bent towards that which is good
and worthy. For this reason Solomon started teaching his Son Rehoboam
with these words from Proverbs 1:8-9)
“Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your
mother’s teaching; Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head
And ornaments about your neck.” (NASB95)
The burden, parents, is on us to do more than passively wait for our
children to learn from someone else what is good - but instead to be
teaching our children and training them in righteousness. Bringing them
up in the Nurture and Instruction of God.
Earliest then for children is the requirement to obey their parents. A
faithful kid, one who claims to love God will obey their parents
because God has entrusted those parents with the charge of training you
in righteousness.
But obedience for obedience sake eventually has to give way to
something better…. Submission.

Submit

As elsewhere in the scriptures, Submission is an act of
the will. It’s something that you have to decide to do. Early on
it’s “easier” for a child to live in obedience, but as time
progresses and you begin to gain your own mind; obedience has to turn
on the willful act of submission.
Nowhere is this exemplified better than in the life of Jesus. When he
turned 12 years old, his parents took him to the temple - without them
knowing he remained behind. When Mary and Joseph noticed he was gone,
they went back and found him still in Jerusalem teaching the teachers.
After that we read in Luke 2:51 “And He went down with them and came
to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother
treasured all these things in her heart.” (NASB95)
The word “Subjection” there is the same word used elsewhere for
submission. Culturally there are huge clashes between parents and
teenagers as you begin to find your own voice - but in terms of being a
“Faithful” child, finding your voice should take place with an
attitude of submission.
One of those key areas where submission is needed early on is in the
area of discipline.
Submit to Discipline.
(Proverbs 29:17) "Correct your son, and he will give you comfort; He
will also delight your soul.” (NASB95) The assumption there is that
discipline is not merely received but also learned from.
The goal of discipline early on is ultimately so that discipline will
no longer be needed. This is what the writer of Hebrews alludes to in
chapter 12
“All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful;
yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the
peaceful fruit of righteousness.”
Kids, especially as you grow older you have a choice to make in your
heart. You can either become bitter and angry over discipline - or you
can choose to learn from it. The book of proverbs makes very clear
distinctions between those who are wise and those who are fools. Chief
among the differences is the response to a “rebuke” or discipline.
A fool despises discipline and someone who is wise accepts it and
learns from it.
So what’s it going to be? You have the choice to make - I trust that
you will choose to bend your own desires to wisdom and accept not only
discipline but the instruction and guidance of your parents. Of course
you won’t enjoy it at the time, but if you will allow yourself to be
trained by it, you will be wise indeed.
Ultimately something greater than mere obedience is needed. And
submission - to a certain degree- has its limits. Both are rules. It is
a rule to obey, a rule guided by a principle. It is a rule to submit,
and that rule is guided by the same principle. The principle is
overarching, and it doesn’t change - in fact all that changes is the
application of that rule.
When very young a child must obey. As you grow, obedience should turn
from blind ascent to willful submission. And through it all the one
principle remains. In fact the principle remains through childhood into
the teenage years and should by all rights stay put through the years
of adulthood. That principle is nothing less than honor.

Honoring

The core text in the bible for the faithful
functioning of children towards their parents is Exodus 20:12. Right
square in the middle of the Ten Commandments, the fifth commandment is
this one which forms a bridge between the first four - bent on the Lord
and the last five which are bent towards human relationships.
(Exodus 20:12) “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may
be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” (NASB95)
To honor your parents is a never ending task. It means giving them
“…the proper weight of authority that they deserve...” Value them
highly, care for them and respect them.
What that looks like, will vary at different stages of life. Honoring
your parents as a child might include not rolling your eyes at them
when they say something you may not agree with. Or it might mean that
your behavior when away from them is flavored by their wishes even if
they’ll never find out.
As you grow, honoring your parents takes on different facets. For
instance Respecting their advice, and even seeking it. For instance
when Theresa and I have had either of our parents over, we have
insisted that they get our bed, while we take the couch. It may seem
small and silly, but it was a conscious effort to honor our father and
mother.
And in the later stages of life, honoring your mother and father should
take on a role reversal where the children become the caretaker in
payment for their parent’s long years of sacrifice.
That’s the principle of 1 Timothy 5:4.
(1 Timothy 5:4) “but if any widow has children or grandchildren, they
must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to
make some return to their parents; for this is acceptable in the sight
of God.” (NASB95)
Leviticus 19:32 also teaches that honoring your parents, or your elders
in general is actually showing reverence toward God.
(Leviticus 19:32) “You shall rise up before the grayheaded and honor
the aged, and you shall revere your God; I am the Lord.” (NASB95).
Whatever your age, the principle of honor remains behind the way you
should treat your parents. With Obedience, Submission and intentional
choices to honor and even take care of your parents. That is
faithfulness, and that is what God has called all of us to as children.
AMEN.

Five Functions Of A Faithful Family -10

We’ve just spent 10 weeks together working through how the different
members of the family should function towards one another. The family
is the most vital building block of society, not only because it’s
first in line, but because the family is a direct reflection of the
godhead. Our God: Father, Son and Spirit is one God operating in
perfect communion. The Father sends the Son, and the Father and Son
send the Spirit. God the son submits to the father in full equality -
as does the Spirit of God. How Christian family members function
towards one another is supposed to be a visible representation of the
nature and Character of God on Earth.
The summary of relationships is simple and demands a repeat.
Husbands bear the chief responsibility in their homes. A godly man will
sacrificially Love, Lead, Live with and Laugh with His wife. He will
honor her, protect her, guide her towards Christ, and provide for her
every emotional, spiritual and physical need. Husbands, Love your wife
as Christ Jesus our Lord and Savior Loves the church.
Wives, you in turn are commanded to Submit to, Support and Strengthen
your husband’s position of leadership in the home.
Parents are commanded to bring your children up in the faith of Jesus
Christ, disciplining towards righteousness and focusing every energy on
developing Christ-likeness in your children.
Children are called to Obey, Submit to and above all to Honor their
parents throughout their lives.
That however is only four Functions of a faithful family. The Fifth
function is reflected in how the family as a whole relates not merely
to each other, but to the world at large and most importantly to God -
from whom all these individual commands are expressed.

The Family’s Function Toward God

LOVE

Nowhere is the family's duties towards God more adequately
spelled out than in Deuteronomy chapter 6. The chief law of all the
laws was given to family units.
(Deuteronomy 6:5)
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your might.” (NASB95)
There is no greater task for the family than loving God. And in many
ways there is no greater challenge.
If you think about the way most of your families respond to God, is
your love towards God consistent? How do you express that love to God?
Do you worship together as a family in any way outside of church?
Worship’s essence involves more than music.
I would venture to say that for most Christian families in America
today - the struggle to incorporate family worship into a daily part of
your family suffers at the hands of too many commitments already on the
plate.
With or without children in the family, there is always more to do than
there is time to do it in.
I think D.L. Moody said it best “If you have so much business to
attend to that you have no time to pray, depend upon it, you have more
business on hand than God ever intended you should have.”
If your family is running in every direction and at the end of it all
you haven’t the time to invest towards Loving God, than you - my
friend are extended beyond what God would have. And righteousness would
require that you scale back.
Loving God as a family can take place in two different arena’s
Structured Time and Unstructured time.
Structured time with God can be anything from praying together before
dinner, or before bed, or even in the morning when you all get up.
It’s not really important WHEN you set time apart to Love God as a
family unit. What’s important is that as husband and wife alone or
with children - setting apart a specific time on your calendar to daily
be in God’s presence to love him should take high priority on your
list.
While structured family worship appears to be the ideal, you and I both
know that it breaks down. We make grandiose plans to have daily family
devotions, and the very same night we find ourselves too tired or we
plain forget our commitment until the night is late and we’ve decided
to go off to bed.
I don’t want to discourage a set time by any means, but more often
than not, it’s the unstructured times with God that will have the
greatest impact on your family. It’s easy to go into faithful mode
when the family bible is pulled off the shelf. But the lasting effects
will come when - in completely unplanned ways - you draw parallels
between real life and the scriptures.
Marshall Shelley tells a simple story which explains the concept. One
morning, while working in the kitchen a woman spilled hot oil on her
hand. Instantly the young boy piped up and declared that they should
pray for mommy before taking her to the hospital for the severe burns.
Most of us would have to confess that our reaction might be to brush
aside the prayer request as quaint because “Real help is needed”.
But they stopped and prayed. To this day that woman has no scar on her
hand, “and guess who brags on God’s healing power the most?”
Every day you have opportunities to make our very real God a real part
of your real life. That’s part of what it means to love God with all
of your heart, soul, mind and strength.
On top of loving God as a family which takes time, a family ought to
function towards God with Faith…

FAITH

Hebrews 11:6 reads, “And without faith it is
impossible to please [God], for he who comes to God must believe that
He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.” (NASB95)
Every family experiences tests of faith. It’s no different for us,
than for the people in the Bible. Beginning with Abraham who believed
God and had it credited to him as righteousness, God has been looking
for people who trust him.
In Second Chronicles Hanani the prophet tells the king, (2 Chronicles
16:9) “For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth
that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His…”
(NASB95)
Every Christian can accept difficulties either with or without faith.
With faith we look to God first as our source of hope and help. Without
it, we grumble and worry. What is the predominant Characteristic in
your household? Is it worry and complaining, or a quiet trust that
whatever the current crisis, God is still God and he is able to help
you bear the burden? The answer to that question is the answer to how
central faith is in your household.
A faithful family Loves God and trusts him through every circumstance.
And a faithful family also serves him.

SERVICE

Enclosed in that same key passage of Deuteronomy 6 is
the thirteenth verse Deuteronomy 6:13 “Fear the LORD your God, serve
him only…” (NIV)
Joshua repeats the admonition (Joshua 22:5) “Only be very careful to
observe the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord
commanded you, to love the Lord your God and walk in all His ways and
keep His commandments and hold fast to Him and serve Him with all your
heart and with all your soul.” “(NASB95); 1 Sam. 12:24; Matt. 4:10;
Lk. 4:8
The primary act of service to God is that of worshipping him, and it
brings us full circle back to the concept of loving Him. But our
families are also called to Serve God in the specific sense of working
for Him. For Israel, service to God is set in opposition to 1) service
to Pharaoh, which was slavery and 2) serving the idols of the nations
which is idolatry.
In that context then, what service are you giving to God?
It is all too easy “to forget [God],” who delivered us “from the
house of bondage,” and to serve “other gods”—the gods of money,
power, and prestige. When we take the bounty of his gifts for granted
and enjoy them at the expense of others, we are on dangerous ground,
for God is “a jealous God” (6:15). He will not tolerate our serving
another master, however legitimate our actions may be in our own eyes.
Is it part of your family life to serve and focus on God, or is your
focus somewhere else. Let me close with this very simple admonition:
(Deuteronomy 6:5-9)
“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all
your soul and with all your might. “These words, which I am
commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them
diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your
house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you
rise up. “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall
be as frontals on your forehead. “You shall write them on the
doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (NASB95)
Beginning today, establish God as the true Lord of your house. Submit
yourself to do HIS will, and give yourselves over to him completely.
AMEN.